Quitting is not an option

When opportunities keep knocking…

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I’m sat in uni and should be studying as while the trimester is almost over, I’ve still got a couple of reports and an exam to go. Funny thing is originally I started this post over the weekend and the following few paragraphs were my headspace then.

“Yes, I’m procrastinating. I should be finishing off a qualitative research analysis report due for Tuesday; or filling out my VRA log, but instead I’m sat here blogging.  Thing is I know why, my headspace has been a little off for the last few days, and I can’t concentrate.

I’ve had a fairly good week so far, then it hit Thursday and things started to go awry.  I sent my fella a couple of update videos on my squats and RDLs, along with some of my mate T (Spirited Fitness), whose training with me.  The conversation my partner and I had started off well enough, T is actually doing ok given she’s only been training for a few weeks with me.  So, I’m not doing a bad job of teaching her.

That’s when it got a bit disheartening.

I’ve got some issues showing in my own form.

I knew already when I watched the replay of the videos before I sent them that something was going on.  Ended up getting my lad to video me again for a better insight; and yep, there’s definitely something going on.  Which hurts when you come out of a workout feeling happy because you’ve just done your personal best that felt really good, and then realise you’re screwing things up.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not doing really bad.  There’s just a slight imbalance in my body throwing me off kilter that I can’t see; or feel, when I’m doing the exercises.  It just became one of those realisation moments when I’m sat on this side of the world, and the man who could help me is sat on the other side, and all I want is for him to be here to help me.”

Hope or Despair

Thing is it’s almost a week later now since I wrote the above.  I havent trained this week. Lack of time was a big issue, though I also admit motivation had hit rock bottom.  In fact; headspace was that low, I hadn’t only hit the bottom of the barrel I’d dug 4 foot under it. However,  I haven’t been idle either.  I got on with assignments; dealt with a kid who was sick, and out of the blue was given an opportunity to expand my horizons from an unexpected angle.

Last night this opportunity took potentially an even better turn; and while I’m keeping the information to myself for the time being, let’s just say I’m hoping I can pull it off in the next few weeks.

So I guess this post is to remind myself that no matter how low I get; or how many times I feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat, my life always seems to throw up positives.  I may have days (yesterday was one) where I wake up and just feel so out of sorts I’ll end up crying for no reason at all. However, I can never really quit on myself; because despite my tendency to prepare for the worst, my stubborn inner core knows there’s likely to be something good coming.

How selling a fridge changed everything

Motivation can come from unexpected places

A couple of weeks ago I was starting to try to get back into my training.  I’m lucky in the fact I have my own home gym I have built up over the past few years, so really there is no excuse not to workout.  However; while I had an adequate setup (squat rack, adjustable bench, 400kg + in weight plates and bars) it was all standard sized gear which meant the bars only came in at 5-7kg, and I was sadly lacking in plates over 10kg.

I also lack room space, so I decided to have a shift around to see if I could get a better arrangement that would free up floor space for things like hip thrusters.  This ended up with me having a larder fridge that was just not going to fit anywhere in the house, and that’s where my fun began.

I sold the fridge, and while looking for a undercounter replacement I spotted a 6ft Olympic bar and an Olympic ezi curl bar along with a couple of 5kg weights on my local secondhand site.  Had a bit of negotiation to drop the price by £25 and the following day I was the proud owner of my first olympic gear.

That night I spotted another ad for Olympic weight plates.  Again a little negotiation and a few days later I’m sat in my driveway with a van full of oly plates ranging from 1.25kg up to 25kg and a weight tree to store them on.  At this point I’m looking at my front door knowing I’ve got to carry the damn things up a flight of stairs to the gym (my house is on the second floor) and thinking to myself I really am crazy.

olympic-plate-tree
The kind of tree I don’t mind in the house

Quite proud of myself though because I managed to do farmer’s walks up the stairs with the 25kg plates as well as all the smaller ones.  Even better I sold a good two-thirds of my standard gear (I kept a selection of smaller plates for the dumbbell bars as I havent got olympic ones yet) for more than I paid out for the olympic stuff.  Still haven’t got a new fridge yet though….

Anyway this is under the workout category and having the new gear has helped to motivate me again.  I’m going to be aiming for 4 workouts a week and I’m using the DAPRE method on some exercises to get me back into the swing of things.  Despite having not trained properly for a good few months and gaining weight I’m actually still pretty strong…for me anyway.

Today hit a personal record of 90kg for hip thrusters and my bench press is back to 50kg.  Still working on my squat and hopefully will get to deadlifting eventually.  That’s one exercise I struggle with, so have been doing RDLs to try to help.