Where to begin…

Welcome to my journey

It’s hard to know where to begin; but I guess I’m just looking for a new way to give myself some accountability, and also to remind myself that despite setbacks over the last 18 months I’m not where I once was.

Around 2010 I was morbidly obese with multiple health issues.  I weighed in at over 180kg, suffered with depression and had major family issues going on.  A broken marriage, three kids (two of who have varying autistic disabilities), a poor support network and no idea of how to drag myself out of the darkness I was living in.

birthday
Yup this was me; despite the smile on my face I was dying inside

Fast forward to today.  A lot happened over the past seven years; too much to put in here as my first post, but it will get touched upon over time.  The basic gist though revolves around meeting a guy (Bill); who despite living halfway round the world from me, has cajoled, sweet talked and busted my butt as he taught me to believe in myself and my abilities.

I could lie and say it’s been all open roads and plain sailing, but I won’t.  In all honesty it has been up and down over sleeping policemen, slamming into potholes, navigating diversions and hitting road closures.  The biggest hurdle being around 18 months ago when; despite the fact I’d just reached double digits (coming in just under 100kg) a multitude of issues saw me spiral back into my darkness, losing my way yet again.

Now I’m sat kicking myself; fluctuating around 125kg, cursing the fact that there are times I just can’t control my headspace.  It’s not all bad though.  Bill has been beside me all this time; and keeps believing in me, even when I can’t.  Now I’m ready to get back into the game and this blog is part of that.

Oh just to clarify; while I may speak about my weight, the reality is I have no target weight to aim for and I don’t believe in dieting.  I weight train and try to ensure my food choices reflect the lifestyle I want to aim for.  My journey is about body recomposition and a healthy lifestyle; not weight targets, fad diets or quick fixes.