Waiting for the Almighty…I mean exam results

When your future lies in other people’s hands…

Waiting for exam results is one of the most horrid things you can do.  This week saw me get the results of an essay and an exam.  The essay was a pleasant surprise.  My best score yet for this year, on a paper that I had a slight worry I’d gone off track with.  It wasn’t enough to make me think I’d fail.

However; when your tutor had hammered on about how essential it was to include multiple details from the case study (which is referring to details that are 4 years out of date), and all your referenced information sources are giving total different answers because they are more current.  Yeah, you can start to think you’re going to lose marks.

Exam results

The business exam was my nagging issue though.  I dislike exams to begin with.  Not because I don’t know the information  or I haven’t studied, but that whole feeling of my future lies on what I can produce in the next 60-180 minutes.  I usually go blank for the first 10 minutes with a complete mind block; trying to pick out a question I can answer easily to get me started.

The exam threw everyone in my class, as the structure of it was nothing like we had expected.  We all knew about the multiple choice questions, and the fact that on some sections we had to go careful. If we got the answers wrong; we didn’t just not gain marks, we actually lost them too.  However; no-one was expecting the two essay style questions that were worth three-quarters of the entire paper’s marks.

Now I’m usually pretty reasonable.  I know I am good at what I do. I have a tendency to waffle (as you may notice); but on the whole I understand and retain things enough, so that waiting for assignment results means I’m expecting to pass.  It’s my own pride that wants it to be more than just a pass, and to be one of the top scorers.

For this exam though; I even got to the point I enquired about the procedures for re-sitting the module, I was that sure I’d flunked it.  My friends know that’s not like me, and it’s been a rough few weeks.  I tried to put it to the back of my mind, but failing would mean a change in some short-term plans I’m trying to arrange, and set me back in the longer term plans I have.

Guess this shows up one of my personal failings though, and that’s I don’t deal well with situations that are out of my control.  I’m not OCD over things in a major way.  Day-to-day I’m pretty laissez-faire in the fact if you can do something better than me, or want to do something different, then go for it.  Everyone’s life is their own to lead; if it doesn’t impact negatively on mine or my family’s, I don’t care what you do.

I just hate it when my future depends on someone else’s decisions that I have no control over.  Mainly for the fact that I lose the certainty factor of things being achievable, and doubts creep in.  Guess that’s why I do tend to have a more pessimistic view on life.  Not because I’m trying to be depressive; but more for the fact that I believe if I prepare for the worst, anything less is a bonus.

Anyway; after being told results were up on Tuesday for checking, and a few moments of ‘I can’t look.’  I went to check my mark, then sat in shock for the rest of the evening as not only did I pass, but somehow I passed with an A.  Several days later, and after a conversation with my tutor, I’m still bemused on how well I did.  Guess there’s something  in this 42 year old brain after all.

Yes I passed

I’ll sleep when I’m dead

When sleep don’t come easy…

It’s been a  hectic week, but I’m heading into the weekend with positive thoughts in my head.  Which is a lot better than where my headspace was at 0800 hours Monday morning.

Issues with kids are never a good start to anyone’s day.  Neither is sitting at your computer an hour later; working out the day’s plan in your head as you fill out a form, and suddenly realise it’s the 27th and you have a university report deadline at 1700 hours the following day.  Needless to say all plans went out the window.  My Tai Chi class was skipped, my workout was scrapped, and emergency measures instigated.

Problem was; it wasn’t I hadn’t done any work, I’d just lost track of the date and had spent the weekend doing other reports that are also due over the next few weeks.  However; a full day of me working on computer, and proofreading by my lovely partner, saw me going to bed with a report that was basically finished.  The following morning had me just doing a final proofread and checking the referencing before submitting and heading off to my business research class.

The rest of the week has gotten better over time.  Workouts got done on Tuesday and Wednesday; another report is almost complete, a group assignment has been started, and I’ve even helped my training partner (Spirited Fitness) start her own blog to record her journey.  In fact there’s only one issue I can’t seem to fix at the moment, and that’s my sleeping habits.

decent-sleep

I’ve always had issues sleeping.  Some people would class me as an insomniac, but years ago several doctors agreed I didn’t fit the criteria as I don’t display the classic signs.  It wasn’t I couldn’t sleep;  and would lay tossing and turning, even though I was tired. It was I just didn’t get tired.  I could function normally for a few days (my personal record is 5 days) with no sleep; and then would crash for hours, or spend a few days catnapping as well as going to bed.

Now I do get more tired (probably old age lol); and my max is usually two days before I’m ready for my bed.  However; now there are nights I lay awake trying to sleep but it doesn’t come, or I wake up at regular intervals.  I’m still able to function properly the following day, but I can feel less refreshed than I should.

Funny thing is though; I can go to sleep easily during the day for a few hours, if I have the time which is rare.  Another interesting factor is; I rarely have issues sleeping properly at night if I’m in New Zealand with my fella.

With my weight training I know I need the sleep to help my body recover.  So I guess I’ve just got to try to figure out how to make myself drop off and get a decent night’s sleep on a more regular basis than I am.